Was trying to help someone, a girl? Friend? Get out of a mega castle. Some robotic megalord and his guards were forcing me, her, and several other people to host, build sets for ourselves, and star in tv channels for an evil boss to watch for his entertainment. He was killing off people he was getting bored with.
I'm too funny, so I was stuck alive wishing I was dead instead of performing what felt like Disney XD skits for fucking ages- before I decide to tell her I'm going to find a way out, and when I do, take her with me.
I steal a radio someone left behind and learn when laundry day is to sneak out. They wanted us to look clean and sexy for the megalord, so they were having us give them our clothes to clean. I had to get naked before I went into the basket because they made EVERYONE have to give their clothes up and just be miserable and stripped for a bit. I take advantage of every bump and shake in the hallway to discreetly wiggle my clothes back on, at least the tanktop and shorts.
I made it out of the TV sets, and realize I am in a completely unfamiliar area when I'm out of the rolling laundry basket. I realize I should have paid more attention to where we were going so I could come back for her instead of worrying about my pants. I figure if I'm good enough at sneaking, nobody would have seen my ass anyway. I go out of the laundry area, which has an open window; I immediately clamber up the wall and leap out of it.
I am outside on a grey, brutalist, yet infinitely curving brick castle roof. My radio beeps loudly, informing me that a "Naked man with medium length black hair, tan skin with freckles has escaped the sets."
"Well, I'm not a man or naked," I say, out loud, like an idiot, who you would think would want to get killed, because they said this, out loud.
Everyone is immediately alerted to my presence, because there were panthers within earshot on the roof. They tell everyone I'm here and only include that I'm 'not naked.'
Oh my fucking god, it was like a kaizo hack in real life. They had the sentient panthers. Spears. Guards. Lasers. I jump off the castle wall and down into the moat below, because I figure cats and robots can't swim. They didn't follow me. But you know what they did have down here?
Mermaids weilding spears in their moat. Crazy spikes everywhere. Imagine me having this whole sweaty and stressful cat-and-mouse thing with the mermaids for what felt like the longest 45 minutes of my life. They were really pretty but it was like a colorful scary group of blurs with death at their tips. They wanted me dead so bad it was almost homoerotic.
Eventually they got bored of me and watching me try not to die by going into a tidepool of sawblades that they didn't want to follow me into, so I lost them for a while.
I went back to the inner castle wall and floated there in the water for a bit and started questioning whether I could even find a way out, or even justify taking a 2nd person through THIS much hell, or if I could even survive this myself. My legs were getting tired, and I just wanted out out out out! I wanted to cry, not because I almost died repeatedly, but because I couldn't muster it in me to go back for her when I promised.
It's only then that the radio beeps again and I get scared, worrying the mermaids will hear and come attack me again, so I cover it up with my hand, but the sound keeps coming through like I didn't do anything anyway.
I hear from the megalord, that there's a problem with the outter wall's wallpaper. I breathe. I swim as fast as I can when nobody is paying attention to me or my hiding spot anymore to the outter wall. The mermaids are completely absent, and I use the violent tidepools to get me there faster.
I see the problem with the wallpaper, it's not a castle wall at all. It's a black, squishy wall foam that looks like it's futuristic stainless steel. It was supposed to be hardened, but it's soft, open, and moat water is leaking into it. I peel it open more like its one of those massive soft foam jigsaw piece toys, and crawl inside the wall's infustructure.
I'm running too fast and ignoring everything else to care at this point as I struggle through a bunch of security technology lazers and sawblades and cogs that are switching on and off at the cue of some kind of audible timer. I felt like the sawblades should have cut me several times because they phased into the edges of my body, but they didn't.
At some point, I believe I see a way out, but I realize as I'm booking it that there is another security measure in the way that I assume scans you on the way out to make sure you're actually allowed to leave, and I accidentally run through it, tripping off something.
Alarms start blaring, so I run back inside as I hear guards start shouting to search the area; I'm in some kind of waiting room area with those toy bead things for kids. I am in a complete panic as I hear guards extremely close behind me and run into the women's bathroom with an idea, not to escape- but to buy time until they find out I'm the guy they're trying to kill.
I glance at the stalls, finding the disabled-use one; it is much and almost comedically smaller than the other two. I am in an evil boss' lair so I did not question it. I instinctively palm and heel onto the stall walls like the floor and toilet is lava like I've been doing in the moat for the past hour. I hear heavy guard steps clanking in to follow the frantic noise I was making while I was rushing in to slam and lock the stall door.
The guard speaks, demanding to know who's in here.
I try to talk, but I was apparently crying while trying to do the high-pitched voice of what my plan was, so it come out really bad. It didn't sound convincing at all, but the crying probably helped.
The guard is confused and tells me to repeat myself. I hear another guards' footsteps come in, but they don't speak.
I repeat myself, "My mom told me not to talk to strangers until she gets back."
The first guard speaks, "Why did you try to leave without your pass?"
"I thought I had it, but my mom did."
"Why does your mom have your pass?"
"Because my pants are wet, and I didn't want to ruin it. She's getting me stuff."
The guard is confused, "...Stuff?"
"I'm on my period"
The second guard speaks, annoyed, "I'll get her something to wear. You stay until her mother gets back." And I assume they agree, because I only hear one pair of footsteps leave the bathroom. I'm thinking how the hell am I going to get out of this. If they open that door I'm dead. I'm not on my period, and mom isn't coming, and I'm wanted for escaping, and I'm too scared and tired to go back for my friend, and I am going to be killed. By robot guards. Who are bringing me pants.
My palm's and heels' grip on the stall walls weaken, and one of my feet slips and loudly splashes into the toilet. It's gross and feels disgusting and I want to die about it.
"Are you okay in there?" The guard asks of me.
"God no," I respond in tired exasperation while trying to find a way to perch on top of the toilet- in my regular, NOT little child voice.
They are silent for a few moments. The door lock jiggles. Damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it they know it's me they're going to kill me. I hear heavy footsteps.
The second guard comes back in and hold out one of their pads that is blood red, and has a picture of their megalord on it. I am too frantic to laugh at it.
I reach from my gargoyle perch position on the toilet and decide to pull down my shorts and equip the pad that I don't need anyway.
"Gimmie a minute," I say in my own voice again. The jig is up but I'm going to see this social convention through until the end, I think.
A pair of completely black pants is slipped under the door. I don't put them on.
I can use these.
I unlock the bathroom door with the intention of strangling one of the guards with them. I realized that they're human and they can be killed. I wait for them to open the door so I can pounce off the toilet and strangle them with the pants I'm holding.
I wake up when Sogwa sneezes on my face. She is loudly grooming herself as I wrote this.
I had a dream a while ago that I was a prince. Or maybe a princess. I have no idea. Either way, the place I used to live in had gotten taken over by a queen and several other characters. I had to kill her, but she was too strong for me to attempt it when she was with other very strong supporters. I was hiding under the bed she was using in a temp room while remodeling my entire fucking palace; I planned on killing her by mauling her with my bare hands, but,
There were too many people who already knew I was there, and were trying to either tell me to leave and trying to pull me out beneath the bed to sneak me out- OR were handing me new weapons because they kmew she could only be killed by a blade of silver, and that because they REALLY wanted me to stab her, they were sticking around to watch. Both kinds of people were pissing me off because I just wanted to stab her like a normal prince snd grt my fucking home back.
I had the ability transform into other forms like animals, humans, ect. After I got impatient enough under the bed, I turned into a bear to try and stop the final invasion of the palace by barreling out of the palace bedroom, and down the palace steps to an incoming delivery truck. I launched my bear body into the back of the truck: in the back- there were several weapons like a few daggers, hook blades, and the entire?? master sword??? Anything to try and stab her with.
I grabbed the tiny hook blade and knife before the driver noticed- I had hit the truck driver on the head with a blunt object, and the truck skidded out of control and crashed into the stairs. There was barely anything else I could have used in there anyway.
I wound up kind of sneaking into the castle by transforming into a wolf, and walking up the long stairway up to the top of the mountain, and directly through the front door. During the confusion of walking past people wondering 'why is there a wolf in the castle', I realized- looking around- they had already COMPLETELY CHANGED and taken over the palace in the short time I was gone!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Every wall was green with fancy wallpaper, and floors had yellow-brown tiles- each room was now ornately decorated with a set purpose or for a certain person instead of the original minimalist designs and stone walls and wooden floors I had in my original home. It made me pissed off that they renovated the place. For some reason I felt that someone needed to die for this. I cant maul with my claws though, someone needs to be stabbed by a knife- because only silver can kill them? Thats stupid. This is stupid, I thought; I should be allowed to maul people.
I scrambled around up stairs as a wolf through hallways and rooms full of guards trying to kill me, and aristrocrats and butlers shouting in fear at me. I kept evading people before I found a weird small indent in the wall with a button beside it, I pressed it with my nose, and since I was a small wolf, I could fit inside. I turned back into a human to shimmy up to the higher wall of the elevstor and use my hands and legs to pin myself up there, to hide from anyone else who thought of coming inside the small elevator.
I was thinking to myself as I hid inside the ceiling of the elevator. The queen herself had several high ranking people that were her closest personal staff or friends, or maybe family. I didn't care who they were to her at all, I just specifcally needed them dead as well. I thought I should take them out first to make the queen more desperate, scared, and easy to manipulate to get her all by herself. I was planning on taking out some of them by utilizing this laundry elevator I was in. This tiny cramped elevator would periodically move between several bedrooms in the castle, so I would use that to move between locations.
However. Before I could decide on which room to go into, a butler appears,
"I always wamted to try riding in one of these," A well-dressed man crouches down and struggles to fit himself inside the laundry elevator. He was fumbling around in the darkness below me and mumbling about where the hell the buttons were. He couldnt see the buttons, because 1. Bro this is a laundry elevator. There are no buttons, and 2. Because it was dark inside, you couldn't see anything in pitch darkness anyway. I turned my flashlight on above him so he could see the lack buttons
"Oh! Now I can- oh. Okay." He sounds disappointed. I watch the butler wait in the elevator as its doors close, and it moves. I am sweating nervously until he gets off at his destination. He sounded like James from team rocket. I was thinking of pinning the crime on him, since he was using the elevators at the same time im going through with this murder plot; I never did this because nobody is good at murder plots.
After the butler left, I, for some reason, can now see through the walls. As the laundry elevator moved, I could see the entire room layout of each place I was going into through the wall. It kept moving several times back and forth to bedrooms. If anyone else could see, they must not have noticed me in the elevstor, so I guess they just didn't see me or also have this weird... seeing through walls ability.
First stop. There was a pink bedroom, a room full of toys, clothes,art supplies, a massive wardrobe. and a beautifully huge canopy bed. The person inside was ridicuously tall, beautiful, and she had long, wavy blue hair with bangs. Elegantly dressed to the nines with jewelry and adornments everywhere. It seemed excessive to casually wear, considering she was just sitting down and writing something in a glittery diary on her ornate wooden desk. This person was one of the high rankers I needed to kill. I could feel it, she seemed important.
However, for some reason, the laundry elevator was behind her wardrobe. I was blocked inside, and she couldn't get any laundry inside this thing. Psychicslly, I could not get out of the elevator to discreetly kill this woman. I wait for the elevator to move.
I arrive in a different room with books lining the walls. It's a lot darker in here, this room is mostly browns... and stone floors. It's like this room wasn't changed much at all. The person in this room must have good taste, I think; it is a shame I have to kill them. I sneak into the room as a wolf. A queen sized bed is in the center of the room, and on the other side is a woman with short, brown hair, and large glasses. She was looking in my direction, I thought, so I hid back behind the massive bed. I sneak around the bed when I don't her move; she was too preoccupied to notice me because she was hunched over a small table on the other side of the bed. She was writing something in a journal with notes and books piled around her on the desk. I thought I should make her death as quick as possible.
I turned back into a human when I sneak up behind her chair, and reached around her face and clamped my hand around her mouth- I needed to pull upwards so I could slash at her neck with my hook knife, I thought I should do two slashes across to make sure she died.
She was squirming and talking loudly into my hand, so I missed, "Fuck. Sorry."
She had moved to where the hook knife slashed across her face, I couldn't see her face but she was screaming beneath my hand now. Fuck. I grip her face tighter, and use a leg to keep her in the chair so she doesn't thrash anymore, I still need to slash her neck twice like I said I would. I slash her neck twice I don't think about it anymore beyond: my first kill is finished. I assume she's dead because I squeezed my eyes shut as I didnt want to look at anyone's dead body. I go back to the laundry elevator. And climb inside, taking the knife with me.
I think it was a different dream at this point, but it's still connected somehow. I'm still thinking about what happened in the last dream.
I am now dangerously driving around in a red sports car I stole on the outskirts of town, thinking about how to kill the 2nd person. I instantly accidentally run over a woman; I end up taking on the appearance of this blond, middle aged woman I killed whos name is the same as mine.
I end up attending an awards conference, but I'm unsure what I won because... I wasn't this person. This "me" has a grandfather who is putting her in his will, so I will receive his estate when he dies. I planned on having a base of operations to slowly get my palace back, so this okd guy's house will be great for when he croaks; No, I can't kill him myself, that would render the will void on the whole murder charges thing, and I also got really attatched to the old man and started thinking of him as my own family when I killed that woman and stole her identity.
So this is just a good back up hide-out to fall on if the whole "murdering the people who take my palace" plan doesn't pan out. The awkward part is that I now have to keep pretending to be this middle aged woman so I can do her taxes and do her job so I can eventually take the estate when I am not busy planning and attempting to kill the people who stole my palace. This was a really weird thought-process to have, not gonna lie.
I return to the palace, and I have decided I will be drastically less subtle this time. I just want every royal in this palace dead so I can take on the queen and take back what was mine in the first place. I have the middle aged woman's job and life to fall back on, so I felt I can be less careful eith my crimes.
I sprint up the steps and into the palace as a wolf, with a different knife in my mouth, gunning for the first extravagantly dressed royal I see. There's a prince. I thought- I should be this palaces' prince, not him.
I ignore the two girls walking on either side of him; I'm moving too fast and seeing red that hasn't spilled from his body yet. I turned back into my original human form and grab the knife from my mouth to plunge it into his back once, and leave it there.
I didn't immediately run away. I stood there as one girl beside him held onto the stabbed prince that was quickly bleeding out. The second, purple haired behind them, spoke to me,
"You stabbed him?" She said to me, but it was more like a statement than a question.
I was breathing too heavily to answer her so I weakly nodded. I slumped down to my knees. I was tired of this. I was this stressed.
"No you didn't," She crouched down onto the floor next to me. She picked up a pizza slice that was next to a splatter of blood, and wiped the blood onto the pizza so it looked like a piece of pepperoni. Blood red pepperoni.
I shook my head, "It wasn't an accident," I shook my head again, faster this time, "I did it on purpose. I just want my home back."
"No, it's okay. Nobody liked him," She shook her head, "We'll hide it for you."
I stood up. The prince was dead, completely slack in the other girl's arms. I was staring at the purple haired girl with a disgruntled look. I could feel my face scrunched tightly in confusion and refusal. I was still breathing too heavily to respond with everything I was thinking properly,
What is wrong with you? What is wrong with everyone in this palace? You don't need to cover it up. I was just going to leave and kill someone else until it was just the queen. I don't care about hiding my intentions. I just want this to be over with.
I tried to open my mouth to tell her all of this, that she didn't need to go through this effort for me.
I couldn't, because I woke up because a loud notification from my work's group chat woke me up. Bruh